Moving on

Sometimes things just don't pan out like you hoped that they would.  Even if this means that from the very beginning you knew that it wasn't going to last.  This is what happened to my last and most recent relationship.  But, it is a story that never ends within its self due to the fact that this ended just like all my relationships do in the end, but at las things just happen.

What am I suppose to say to someone that I know that I have helped to contribute to breaking their heart?  Even though they had done more damage to my own heart than I could or would ever do to theirs.  Can the taste that they taste be so bitter even though mine is not?

Maybe I have gotten them use to the fact that they could walk all over me and get away with it?  Hmm... need to think on this some more.  But, isn't it true that you can only beat a dog so many times before he will end up biting you in the end?  Doesn't this pretty much sum up the behavior of people in general when dealing with relationships?

I don't hate him for what he did.  Everyone makes mistakes.  I understand that.  But, after three years of trying to be understanding eventually there is a time that understanding has to lean to the side for a while.  The same old mistakes have to stop because I can't continue to say I understand after he has done them for fifth or sixth time again.  It is not fair to me or my kids to continue to be understanding when he thinks that it will do the most for him.  Maybe he never truely understood what my love was about.

Maybe he never understood that my love even though it may change in tensity it will never end.  Maybe he doesn't understand the pain that he caused me, the tears that I cried when he couldn't be faithful, or when he lied on top of lies.  Maybe he doesn't understand at all.  Maybe he never will.

Do I wish him the best?  Yes, I do.  I have no hard feelings for him or for what he has done.  He did what he did and that is all to the story.  I have to move on.  I may be limping, battered and bruised, but my head will be held high as I leave this love behind to move on with my life.