Mistakes

I sit here thinking of a time that seems so much farther away than it actually is.  A time of innocence or at least of what little innocence I had.  A time of entering the world as an adult and breaking away on my own.

In the result of this movement as with anyone, I made mistakes.  Some of those mistakes I have paid in full.  Others I continue to pay for along with everyone else.  Have you every heard the saying that nice guys finish last, well it can't be true.  I don't believe or atleast I am starting to believe that saying is not true at all and never will be for me.

I try to live life not hating.  I believe in the words that my mother has told me several times is that hate does nothing but take away from the one that does the hating.  Besides, even though I may not be a hard core christian I do try to live a life with certain morals and beliefs.  And one of those is not hating and love thy brother.

I will have to admit that there are certain people in my life that make it extremely hard not to hate.  Especially when they are a type of person that is good at twisting the truth in their favor and the people around them that love this person who also know their history of this person continues to fall over and over the lies and say nothing more about them except that I am to blame.

One big mistake.  A mistake that I have paid for over the years.  I don't understand why this debt has not been paid.  It was an innocent mistake.  One that was made out of love.  The sad thing is that there seems to be nothing that I can do about this mistake.  I can't make it go away, or even undo the mistake to begin with.  So I bear on as it is my burden.  How can you finish paying for a mistake that continues to hang over your head?